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This month's victim: Baja Burrito Grille Now, with your order you get chips. Okay, my friend Kris was with me, and when the girl gave us our chips and told us about the salsa bar, we both looked around and behind us was this sneezeguard setup with 6 or 7 different salsas below it, and Kris just got this really weird look on his face like he was stunned. This is actually the third time he had been there, and noone had told him about the salsa bar before. I mean it was right there next to the napkins and shit but I guess he just didn't recognize it before. No joke! The Salsa: I only tried two. Those were Gaden Tomato and Sals Verde. The first was very typical nacho salsa, the kind you can get in a local grocery store. They had a spicy version of this salsa but I din't try it. The next sals though was probably the best thing I have ever tasted: Salsa Verde. Made with green tomatoes, it was completely green and chunky, and looked like the watermelon applesauce Motts (tm) that I used to have in school lunches. Totally the best salsa I've ever tasted. Kris also tried some and agreed, completely, that it was the bomb. You must try this salsa. The Burrito: I wish I had taken that shit home but instead I ate it all there and felt sorrow for it later. Never be afraid to ask for a doggy bag. All in all, a great place to get a quick dinner, hot, for an affordable price. They have several tvs inside that are usually turned on to the sports channel, and the employees will usually bring your food to the table. I'd recommend Baja Burrito to anyone with a small family or living on a budget, plus I'll be sure to bring all my boys by here for lunch sometime. The cajun black salsa is seriously jacked tho.
James Hilderson Tolstoy's "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" is a realist work; his choice of subject matter and the manner in which he portrays the lives of his characters demonstrate the story's realist sensibility. Tolstoy chooses to tell the story of an upper-middle class man, Ivan Ilyich, who is deeply entrenched in both his profession and his social situation. Ilyich finds himself in the throes of an incurable disease, and is forced, through the course of his illness and death, to reassess his life. The story opens with the news of Ilyich's death. Tolstoy shows the reader the ignorant materialism of Ilyich's peers by pointing out their concern with professional advancement and social status. Ilyich's death is not seen by his colleagues as a terribly sad occasion; rather, it is quietly hailed as an opportunity for a job promotion (Norton, pp1209-10). The reader is further shown how little concern Ilyich's "friends" really had for him: one comments, "We shall have to go to see her [Ilyich's wife], but they live so terribly far away [just across the city]." This comment leads to a discussion of their city's geography. Ilyich's peers are quite content to deal with their trite daily concerns and forget about their peer's death. Tolstoy's use of language is fairly neutral. The story's omniscient narrator refrains from commenting much on the characters, letting them develop naturally. The narrator's occasional character comments, such as his statement about Gerasim: "[he had] the even, white teeth of a healthy peasant" (p1215) merely state common social norms of the time. This treatment helps to place the story in the realist tradition. The author's use of characterization is particularly pointed. Tolstoy begins the story with, as previously mentioned, the news of Ilyich's death. The reactions of the various characters to this news shows something of who they are. All of the characters in the story are quite normal in their reactions to death: they all feel that "it is he who is dead and not I." (p1210) The characters' reactions to Ilyich's death show them to be rather shallow and unused to death -- in other words, they are quite normal. When Ivan Ilyich himself eventually comes to the realization that his life of maneuvering in a social sphere was wrong and thus unfulfilling (p1248), his character rises above the others, morally, and attains, through death, a sort of grace and enlightenment that is unknown to the other characters in the story. Tolstoy's choice of subject, language, and characterization place "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" into the realist category. This choice of form effectively complements the message of his story, expressed in his reference to the philosophy of Kant: that humans, however caught up they are in petty society, remain mortal. (p1234)
By Rick Angerson Gender identity:
By Wayne Thompson Ricky Martin is scheduled to appear on the Rosie O'Donnell show at 4:00pm; Thompson has his interview scheduled for the same time slot. Join in as Thompson conducts his exclusive interview over the phone! Voice on the phone: Hi, and thanks for calling Rosie! Please stay on the line. Wayne Thompson: Hello? I'm calling to interview Ricky Martin. ... Hello? V: Your call is important to us! Please stay on the line! WT: This is Wayne Thompson. I'm calling to interview Ricky Martin. V: Please stay on the line! Your call will be answered in the order it was received! Ricky Martin (on TV): No, it's been great. It's so great to have all the fans come out. Rosie: Oh, he is SO CUTE! Can you believe him? Look at this, the Ricky Martin doll looks JUST LIKE HIM! [Holds up Ricky Martin doll, makes a face, wiggles the doll] We should sell this at my foundation for kids which I do for charity and it's a good thing, ha-ha. WT: Mr. Martin? Hello? V: Please stay on the--Hello, what is your question, please? WT: Oh, hi. This is Wayne Thompson, I'm calling to interview Ricky Martin. V: What is your question, please? WT: Am I on the air? V: No. Do you have a question, please? WT: I was told that Mr. Martin would do a telephone interview with me at this time. Can you put me on the air, please? V: I'm sorry, we screen the questions first and if your question gets on, we ask you to stay on the line. Can I have your question, please? We have a lot of callers. WT: No, I'm a journalist. I have an interview with Mr. Martin during this hour. I have a lot of questions, I just need to be patched through to him. V: Sir, I'm sorry, this is the listener call-in line. Maybe you should call the show's producers. WT: Okay, what's their number? V: I'm sorry? WT: I'll call them. I have an interview right now. What's their number? V: Whose number is that? WT: The show's producers. You just said. I have an interview. V: Oh. I'm sorry, I don't have that information. Ricky Martin (on TV): No, Menudo was great. It was just like a family, except it was all boys! [Audience laughs] WT: Listen, I have a deadline. Can you patch me through to the producers? V: Sir, I'm sorry, I can't do that. Do you have a question for Ricky Martin? I have other calls. WT: Can I speak to your supervisor? V: [pause] Yes. Hold, please. V: Please stay on the line! Your call will be answered in the order it was received! Rosie O'Donnell (on TV): I just wanna pinch you or something! V: This is Tom Harris. WT: Hi Mr. Harris, this is Wayne Thompson. I have an interview with Ricky Martin, and I can't seem to get your operator to patch me through. V: You're who? WT: Wayne Thompson. I'm a journalist. V: I'm sorry if our operator was short with you, we have a lot of calls to get to. I apologize. WT: No, she wasn't short with me. I just need to get patched through! Mr. Martin will only be on a few more minutes, and I have an interview at this time. V: I'm sorry, you have an interview with who? WT: Ricky Martin. He's on your show right now. I have an interview at this time with Mr. Martin. My name is Wayne Thompson. I'm a journalist. V: Oh, you should be talking to the Publicity department. WT: Okay. Can you give me their number? I'm sort of in a hurry. I have a deadline. V: I'm not allowed to give out the number, but I could transfer you. WT: Okay, that would be great. V: Please hold, Mr. Thompson. [click] WT: Hello?
By Nathan Carlysle God-Damn you girl! You were like the god-damn air traffic contoller everybody knows is unqualified and a COMPLETE danger to air traffic EVERYWHERE, but they let her wear the headphones and run the radar screen, just so they can have her around! 'Cause it's cute to hear her talk funny, and to make those little clicking sounds over her lips, and the sighs oh GOD-DAMNIT!! The Sighs!!! Normal people don't sigh like that! NO-body sighs like that, not even Martin Scorsese, or some other wheezing asmathic. What in the hell have you got going on there with them, that they let a blundering ditz like you into their fold?!? And why don't they accept ME? I go to their parties. I can talk about aerodynamics and wing design. But nobody ever asks ME if I wanna get high. When people are taking money for acid, nobody has ever asked if I wanted any. You didn't even finish at Embry-Riddle!! What the hell; And I'm out there with my wings on fire in a snowstorm, trying to make an emergency landing, and I'm all like "Runway fucking 4-niner, please." And OH-YEAH, it's so funny when I get upset; it's HILARIOUS when I'm in trouble. Well I hope your speed catches up with you & you O.D. while you're working a Red-Eye shift in the middle of a Four-Day Weekend!! FUCKING FISTER AIRLINES!!!!!!
Hoohan - Typing, Words Steve Scholls Created with a bunch of Macs. Send all resumes to the ha-ha-ha-ha-ha department. $10 per issue, per banner, forever We will fucking bury you if you ha-ha our hoo-ha. © 1999 The Left Leg. All rights resooooooohan. THERE HAS BEEN NO MENTION OF THE PARTY UNTIL NOW, WHICH INDICATES ITS GENERAL OVER-NESS
Orlando Restaurant Review
by Steve Scholls
Hey. Okay, Baja burrito: I liked it first off cause it gave me the feeling of when my band played Mexico, the atmosphere in there with the hats and shit, youknowwhatI'msayin? I wish i could remember the food better. Anyway, it took me two trips there to get my order cause they don't take plastic of any kind so I had to find the nearest atm at a bank and that was like half a mile away at a bank but it was in the same shopping center, so that was okay. After that was set and we were straight I ordered the California Burrito: that's beans and black rice and greens and guac and shit in a huge tortilla, with a choice of chicken or steak. i chose steak. I got a large fountain drink and with that it came to around 6 dollars.
Steve was a founding member of Orlando bands Lady Under Submarine and Utopia Jane. He now plays double bass in Swing Mary Sixteen.
HUM 2250, section 32Study/Reaction Essay 4: "The Death of Ivan Ilyich"
James Hilderson is currently a Junior at Breckinridge State College. He received a B+ for this paper.
How I Got Fired From the Dating CGI Job
My physique may be best described as:
What is your location (regional)?
You are looking for a:
Female
Male
Victim
For: (Choose all that apply)
A fucking date. What's so fucking wrong with that anyway??
Impending co-dependency
Partner for midnight Denny's rant
I saw a show about sex on HBO
Fisting
What's your deal, anyway? (Choose all that apply)
I spend too much time on the Internet to get a date
I'm a genius
Nobody understands me
I'm painfully shy
I hate everything
I'm very, very queer
I look or smell foul
I'm a perv
I want to hurt everyone
I want to hurt myself
I just want to be involved in hurting in general
I have cripplingly low self-esteem
Finish the following sentence: "You should date me because..."
I've got mad cgi skillz
my pain is alluring
I'm a rock star, or was one in the past
I've got nerd hot
I know where you live
the restraining order expired last week
my innocence is alluring
I have a really cool homepage
I'm special
How desperate are you?
Which of these best describes your social habits?
You work as a(n):
Screw-up
Student (screw-up)
Internet/computer professional
Librarian
Corporate whore
Freelance whore
Scientician or engineer
Slowly selling my life on eBay
"I hate my job." True or false?
True
Painfully Fucking True
Rick Angerson is "so fired."
Interview with Ricky Martin
Wayne Thompson is a reporter for the Suncoast Saver in Boca Raton, Florida. He has conducted interviews with Madonna, Beck, and Pearl Jam.The Adorable Inept Flight Controller Relationship
Nathan Carlyse has been the sole contributor to our Freak-Out Column since Left Leg's first publication. He lives very far away, with cats.
Staff:
Ed Furniture - Publishing, Words
Wee Thomas - ComicsContributors:
Wayne Thompson
James Hilderson
Nathan Carlysle
Rick AngersonAdvertising Rates:
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